HIPPIES SMELL!!
I can't really understand the preoccupation of visitors to India with other travelers.
The two weekers point the finger at hippies about their attire and habits.
Hippies think two weekers are just ticking lists from a taxi, with no feel for the place or people. They also look funny
Long term hippies/travelers see short term Goa hippies as fakes. Backpackers like to think they're a cut above the ubiquitous dreadlocked jester, with his chillum and guitar.
Of course the real hippy leftovers from the 60's own a Banares Sitar and and ITALIAN chillum!!
All would agree that package tourists to Kerala and Goa are the scum of the earth, have a negative effect on the cheapness of Indian travel for budget travelers and should be put on the first plane home, if not shot on sight!
Package tourists look around, and shake their head at the state of today's youth and decide to have another Bacardi Cola and a fag! Before a spot of haggling at the hugely over priced flea markets. Later that evening they'll being telling their tales of haggling conquests. Unaware of the hippy doubled up behind them, at the price they paid!
Corsican Bob has seen it all before, he's been there since '71' and is convinced it's a passing phase and all the intruders will soon tire of India and go to Bognor Regis again. A conviction he's held since '72'
He watches it all through the haze of charas, he's been in since waaayy back. All the while shouting down the new yobs in football shirts who only come to Goa to drink. Or the new backpackers who dared to come to Goa on the train. "Wasn't like THAT in the 70s. we came in on trucks, camels, ox carts.... anything that moved. In fact there's not been a real traveler through here, since '73'"
Steve and Sheila newly decorated at Bennettons.... in Khaki, look at him with amusement. This wisened old leathery guy, with long grey hair and a permenant chunk of hash under his finger nail and lament how life can treat some people. Thank god they aren't like him!
All the while screaming at touts to get out of their way and informing all and sundry THEY know the prices, they read them in the LP guide 1997 edition, which they brand like a holy chalice. We've got the look, book and the arrogance to carry this off, Indians beware.
Of course pinky/white, nervous and sweating profusely from all the ill advised clothing they brought with them, doesn't intimidate anyone at all, much to their consternation!!
So the next taxi wallah, cops a mouthful,
He's just about had enough of all of them, after the argument over 50 paise with the dreadlocked crew, who insisted on getting 6 in his rickshaw and then wouldn't pay the fare he asked for
Some dress up to thrust their real/imagined character on the masses. Those Khaki vests with all the pockets, and a Bush Tuckerman hat to round off the rather swish matching pants - come shorts, again loads of pockets (what ARE they for)
Or the delicate hippy chicks, who look like walking clothes stands, such are the bizarre mix and match ensembles, they parade themsleves in!
Topped with numerous piercings of an almost SM nature, don't wash you hair for a few weeks and you've got the complete look (a dose of dysentery does keep you at premium weight and looking good of course)
Wide eyed backpackers with all their hopes and dreams still fresh in their innocent minds, receive all with gusto, such is the plane of learning they have set themselves upon. Old, new, hippy or someone's Grandad, they imbibe the experience, as only the young can.
Three weeks later, they've joined a gang done a two day meditation course and walk the lofty heights of the newly enlightened, all that was interesting and seductive before, becomes mere childish pastimes of the middle class/hippy traveler. Their quest doesn't allow for such worldly pastimes.
A month down the line they are to be found in cafes, the length and breadth of India, sharing their scorn of other travelers with other seekers of their ilk.
Grandad, two week tourists, old hippies, BACKPACKERS..........."they just don't get it do they"
The issue is further complicated when it becomes gender orientated. Start on the subject of womans clothing and adjectives and curses fill the air!!
Jeans to Sari, SK to tent, all are obviously completely out of order to one group or another.
The swaddled ladies in a hotch potch of every conceivable tribal garment and color, gliding through India aren't making choices, peer pressure has gotten the better of them, so now they don't know what the hell to wear! The result is bigger rucksacs!
Then of course there's your mode of travel, travel second class and you'll get the inevitable, budget bums they think they are like the locals, why do they put themselves at risk like that? Why do you come to India if you have Sooo little money.......get a wash!
You would never catch ME in second class.
Switch to AC class and there's the chorus of, you never see real India in AC, what a waste of money, the Indians in this class are boring fools, the windows are blacked out, Second class is the ONLY class I consider REAL INDIA
you would never catch Me in AC class
Move to 1st Ac and you're just a rich dick head with more money than sense.
Nobody owns up to traveling in this class
How you eat,
Dare you eat meat, all the veggies go into terminal meltdown about how you should avoid meat, in order to stay off the toilet. Partake of the delights along the side of the road, and you'll be accused of gross stupidity or worse......... In fact for some if the place doesn't have mirrors, fake flowers and a waiter in a turban, then your simply playing Russian Roulette with your life.
You would never catch ME eating there
So you saunter down to you nearest three star restaurant......What a waste of money, you can't trust places where you can't see the Kitchen, I didn't come to India to eat in three star restaurants, I came to sample REAl Indian food not this fancy smancy crap. Typical too much money and doesn't know where to eat!!
You would never catch ME eating there
Eat in a tourist restaurant and order chips.............well you'll catch it from all quarters. Fake food for fake travelers, the pancake munchers don't know India, muesli what the fuck??
I only eat local food that's what we're here for isn't it..... REAL INDIA.
You would never catch ME eating there
So it would seem India brings some sense of latent snobbery about how one SHOULD travel, dress, eat, behave etc.
I sometime wonder how much IS missed of REAL INDIA such it the preoccupation with fellow travelers and their.
obvious deficits
Anyway on reflection, bollix to you all, I'm going to do India MY WAY
Oh by the way I'm available at the Hira bar Palolem to tell you exactly how you SHOULD travel India!!
